Don't get me wrong, I mean, I enjoy juggling the skulls of Pharaohs, but I wouldn't call it a hobby or anything.

I hate Ike. And mustard. And the patriarchy.

I've got no deeds to do, no promises to keep. Oh, wait, actually, I'm out of milk.

Tacos are delicious.

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a a strong sense of social responsibility and a firm understanding of trickle-down economics.

You know what I love? I fuckin' love bear intestine pizza.

I never could get the hang of catfish.